The environment turned dead silent.
Dickens, Jaclyn and I gazed at each other, stunned.
Then the three of us, diverted our attention to the patio where mom was busy preparing food. No reaction to be seen!
To me, I would rather assumed that the question remain blur, unheard. I wouldn't want to see mom despaired anymore. She has had enough! All the excruciating sufferings and obstacles she faced from the day dad diagnosed with such cruel illness until this very day. I tried to divert my siblings’ attention to the on-going TV program, as if nothing has happened.
On dad’s funeral: she has had not got a chance to shed into tears. It simply strikes too early. He did not even say goodbye to us, not even a last word from him!
His appearance turned ugly during the final stage of dialysis, his hair falls badly, drifted appetite in spite of the severe medical condition he is having. Being the eldest of the family, I can’t do anything but to make trips to chapel, making confessions and pleas.
He brings joy and laughter to our entire family “Why must god be so cruel to steal him from us?” I murmured.
Suddenly I felt a bit wobble.
This was when Jaclyn noticed tears dripping from both my eyes then starlet me. “Are you okay?” she asked in apprehension.
“Yes,” I then added with a grimace, “just some dirt got caught up here” looking way as my left limb pretending rubbing my eyes.
Night comes and greets us not long before. We were asked to return to our bedroom and brace up for tomorrow. Jaclyn and I huddled up in a lower deck while Dick sleeps isolated on the upper one.
The bed frame is granted by Mrs. Baker, an appreciation on mom’s hard work for meeting her weekly production quota some fortnight ago. How joyful we are at that moment! But, it seems something is missing.
“Can we get a mattress or something?” a timid voice from behind asked. It was Dick.
The results: we have plain porridge almost every breakfast just to save enough for it. Then one fine morning, in the midst of our ‘salvation program’: Dick jumped off his chair, down the hall for his wardrobe. He appeared, clutching his piggy and volunteered mom to have some of his savings.
We were all rooted, feeling dejected.
The lumps in our throats bring tears to our eyes, especially mom. A prickly feeling of responsibility and guilt penetrated deep inside my heart. In spite of this, I have taken a part-time job at £2.30 an hour; handling some dispatch and documentation tasks in a catering company, hoping that the small amount would do something for the family.
-----------------------------------------------
Wed, 17 Apr: It has been a year living here. Usually, mom will be preparing 'starch' for breakfast, with no exception for today. When asked on why she prefers cooking congee her reply would be “… more nutritious.” A simple reply though.
She was a modern, amicable, Chinese mixed which has migrated and lived in America ever since the last two generations. She has thick, dark copper hair while her ivory-skinned inheritate the fair complexion of her Chinese ancestors. Her pink, tender lips and physically in shape figure are merits that has lured dad to befriend her, initially, apart from those fine virtues.
The breakfast was brief as I need to rush to the bus stand before it gets too late. Upon my arrival, there have been a long queue waiting. I murmured as I tossed through my wristwatch, the 12th birthday present which is also the last from dad, “Why the bus I am waiting for still in vain?” “Or, could it be that I have missed a trip?”
(to be continued)
I cried when it said "He brings joy and laughter to our entire family “Why must god be so cruel to steal him from us?” I murmured." >< Beautiful story keep it up
ReplyDelete